What a day! I've been having a lot of fun venturing around Oradea, trying new things and giving my wordless communication a try, and I want to say that its been a blast. Today was my first day shopping and there's really only one real place to go - where the locals go, of course! We went to a local market and it was great! I managed to buy an alarm clock that I desperately needed from a Romanian man who spoke no english and even as I type this, I'm laughing as I remember our hand gestures and guessing that comprised our communication. Both I and my shopping companion were successful, however, and we walked away victorious.
I only spent half the day enjoying this small victory though because after lunch as a local cafe, we headed to the hospital for my second shift of the week. The babies are simply beautiful and I can't help but smile when they turn their big eyes to look at me. As much as they make me smile though, some of them will rip your heart out as they struggle through each day in pain. Sebastian is two years old but looks to be about 6 months old. His typical position is a perfect 'U' shape - his head craned backward and his legs straight as boards from hip to toe. One of the nurses told me a little about him and informed me that 6 days out of the week, he is in excruciating pain that keeps him from sleeping. Even when picked up, Sebastian retains his 'U' shape and often grunts because of the pain he is experiencing. Heartbreaking? You have no idea... Samuil is also 2 years old. His neck is also craned but not as severely; he cranes his neck for a practical reason - he can't close his mouth, he can't swallow, and he can't coordinate saliva running down his throat and breathing. It is absolutely heart wrenching to listen to him breathe; you can hear all the fluid in his lungs and whenever he get's his bottle, it is a giant ordeal of trying to get the milk into his stomach and not his lungs. He will sometimes lay his head on your shoulder but only for a moment or two because he will then jerk his head backwards so the saliva that has collected in his mouth will hopefully go down his throat before he tries to breathe again. It is a devastating ordeal to watch. Roxana is 1 1/2 yrs old and has what is thought to be separation anxiety. She lays on her stomach all day and refuses to be held. She cries whenever you put your hands around her and whenever you touch her little hand, she quickly retracts it like she touched something hot. She is pittifully small and her skin is so sickishly pale, its almost see-thorugh. It brings tears to my eyes as I think of how badly I want to hold her and take her pain away. Her abandonment, however, has isolated her into a world she won't let anyone in.
Sebastian, Samuil, and Roxana are only a few of the many needy children that we are working with. It hurts my heart but everything is worth it when you can make them smile or at least quiet them for a moment or two. I am so grateful to be here and it was worth every bit of sacrifice I made. I am most definitely where I need to be! <3 Lindsay
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