Day #13-

Sorry if this seems scattered, but my exhaustion has hit a new level! It's hard to explain the way this work plays on your emotions. To see the pain the children go through everyday breaks your heart and all you want to do is cry. We just found out yesterday that two of the children(Sebastian and Samuil) are only expected to live 4 years; they are 2 years of age now. When I found out the news, I couldn't help but hold and snuggle both of them longer. How can you leave a child that's living the last days of his life?! Every time I enter the room they both cry, seeking attention and loving arms to embrace them. It tears me apart every time. As I held Sebastian's stiff, awkward body in my arms today, a song came to my mind. As I started to sing the chorus to When We All Get To Heaven, tears came to my eyes. To know that I only have one more day with him and Sammie till I see them both in heaven is still so unbelievable! Part of me wishes they would live forever; and another part of me wishes Jesus would take them home and erase their pain and suffering. But I guess God has a special and unique plan for each of them!!! As you can see, it's not only physically draining, but emotionally as well. Sometimes the pain I doesn't come until I lay in my bed at night and sometimes it comes immediately. But no matter how hard it hurts, we have to keep going; probably one of the hardest things I have had to do!!!